I remember being so engulfed in fear as I looked out the backseat window and saw the edge of the cliff as we continued speeding through the winding road to Hana in Maui, Hawaii. I saw cross after cross on the side of the road representing the many lives lost on this treacherous and eerily beautiful road. My father honking before going around curves because the road turns into one lane at very inopportune times. I was too afraid to speak, as I kept checking that my seatbelt was still locked tight. I was 12 years old. Old enough to know the danger of what we were doing, but not old enough to know how to deal with my fear. So, I did the only thing I could do, accepted that I may die today, so I might as well enjoy this beautiful scenery. That is A LOT for a 12 year old to take on! On the other side of this fear though, there was beauty. I appreciated the beauty of Hawaii so much that day, that I decided I would someday name my daughter after this terrifyingly beautiful road, and 20 years later I did.
“The Road to Hana is a scenic highway (Highway 360) that twists through the lush rainforest and past the cascading waterfalls that line Maui’s eastern shore. Most people start their trip in Kahului (home to Maui’s main airport) with the intention of motoring 55 miles to Hana. The trip isn’t always easy: The route often surprises unfamiliar drivers with hairpin turns.” says The U.S. News Travel.
“I want adventure in the great wide somewhere.” Ever since I was a kid these words have struck a cord in my soul. My soul yearns to be free. To fly. But I’m a 34 year old sensible mother of 3. I do not fly. I get motion sickness when I ride the hot air balloon rides with my kids at the Air Zoo.
I have had this nagging feeling since childhood that one day my adventure would begin. I’d be walking through the streets my head in a book as always, and BAM! My world would transform into forests, beasts, and talking cutlery. Does anyone else think this might happen to them? No, just me?
Any ways, I’ve always wanted to get back to that feeling on the other side of fear. What would I do if I faced my fear and went straight through it, instead of running the other way? If I stood up for my beliefs instead of thinking someone else will do it for me. If I poured my heart out on a blog, and hoped no one would ever read it, because then they would see the real, true, me. And THAT is a terrifying thing. Isn’t that the greatest oxymoron of our time? We all deep down, just truly want to be seen, and yet we are so terrified to be seen, we won’t show others our true selves. What if we all just put it out there, our weird Disney obsessions and the fact that we often break into song, our memories from childhood that scare us to explore, our beliefs, questions, hopes and desires. What if we step outside the box for a moment each day, a little at a time, and say “Hey, this is me. I’m beautiful in here and you never knew it, because I didn’t let you see me”. I see you friend, let’s hold hands and jump outside our comfort zones together.